If you’ve ever tried affirmations, you’re not alone. They’re popular and support new perspectives in mindset and motivation to see the world in a new way. Yet many people find themselves frustrated: their affirmations don’t work, feel fluffy, generic, or just don’t seem to move the needle.

I get it. That used to be my experience too — until I realized that not all affirmations are created equal.

When we try generic copy-paste phrases, they often miss what’s really blocking our progress: those hidden, very specific mindset constraints that shape what we see as possible.

Today, I want to introduce you to the concept of well-engineered affirmations — precise, intentional language tools to help you get unstuck and achieve your goals. These affirmations are designed to shift the mindset constraints that create your feasible region, and help you move forward in a way that feels authentic and effective.

In this post, we’ll explore why traditional affirmations often don’t work, what makes well-engineered affirmations different, and I’ll guide you through crafting affirmations that really shift your mindset.

Why Traditional Affirmations Often Don’t Work

Many affirmations fail because they use vague, feel-good language that doesn’t connect with your real internal mindset.

Here’s an example:

Let’s say you’ve always thought that success requires working long hours. Maybe your current mindset constraint is: “The more time I spend working, the more successful I become.” That belief may have served you well in your 20s, but now you’re married and have kids – and you just don’t have the same time to put into your work.

And because of this you feel stuck.

On one hand, you’re overwhelmed and convinced that if you aren’t always working, you won’t achieve your career goals. On the other hand, you want to be present with your family and be a good spouse and parent.

In this situation, some people may suggest an affirmation like:
“I create success with ease and flow.”

Sounds nice, but it doesn’t address why you are stuck in the first place.  If you have a mindset constraint of “The more time I spend working, the more successful I become.”,  telling yourself  “I create success with ease and flow.” just isn’t going to work. In this scenario, this affirmation is doomed to fail.

These generic affirmations ignore the underlying mindset constraints conflicting within you — the often hidden mindset constraints that shape what feels possible to you and influence your decisions.

To really shift your mindset, affirmations must be crafted with precision — aligned with the specific constraints holding you back.

What Are Well-Engineered Affirmations?

Well-engineered affirmations are designed intentionally to target and shift specific mindset constraints.

Think of them as carefully tuned engineering tools that adjust the internal parameters defining your mental feasible region — the mental space of possible actions you’d take.

Well-engineered affirmations aren’t about forcing yourself to believe something untrue or wishful thinking. Instead, they invite perspective shifts that gently expand what you see as possible.

This nuanced approach transforms affirmations from surface-level mantras into powerful tools for meaningful mindset change.

Examples Illustrating the Power of Well-Engineered Affirmations

Let’s think back to our previous example, the affirmation  “I create success with ease and flow.” Is okay affirmation — but it isn’t quite well-engineered, because that affirmation doesn’t directly address how the mindset constraint:
“The more time I spend working, the more successful I become.”
 conflicts with your other mindset constraint:
“I need to spend time with my family to be a good spouse and parent.”

So a well-engineered affirmation may be:
“I create career success and strong family relationships by investing my time with intention.”

Do you see the difference?

The first affirmation — “I create success with ease and flow.” — states your desired reality, but it doesn’t directly address the internal conflict.

The second — “I create career success and strong relationships by investing my time with intention.” — reframes the tension between work and home by challenging the mindset that more time always equals more success.

This well-engineered affirmation directly addresses the tension by shifting focus from hours worked to purposeful time investment, opening new possibilities.

How Well-Engineered Affirmations Fit Into Your Journey to Better Affirmations

Generic affirmations often fall short because they don’t address the deep mindset constraints shaping your feasible region.

But that doesn’t mean that you should give up on affirmations. Affirmations are one vital tool to help you change your mindset – when they are well-engineered.  

Well-engineered affirmations are precise, intentional tools that open new possibilities by shifting your mindset constraints thoughtfully and authentically.

If you are feeling stuck and would like personalized well-engineered affirmations for your specific situation, I encourage you to get a free Get Unstuck Mindset Map.

In addition, I invite you to join r/SmartCapableStuck — a place where smart, capable people share stories, questions, and support on their journeys to get unstuck.

If you want to learn more about well-engineered affirmations, and the larger mindset engineering approach,  I invite you to watch my video Get Clear on Why You Are Stuck (An Unconventional Approach from a PhD Engineer)  — which includes a detailed example and additional insights to help you move forward.